Changing a Child’s Learning Mindset
Changing a Child’s Learning Mindset Through Positivity
When a child struggles with learning, it can feel like a heavy cloud looms over their classroom and home life. Frustration, fear of failure, and low self-esteem often seep into their thoughts, making school feel like a battleground rather than a space to grow. But amid this challenge lies a powerful, often underused tool—positivity.
Positivity isn’t just about encouraging smiles or offering praise for the sake of it. It's a mindset and approach that can transform how a child views themselves and their capabilities. Let’s explore how we, as caregivers, and supportive adults, can use positivity to shift a struggling learner’s mindset—from defeat to determination, from avoidance to engagement.
Children rarely lack the desire to learn. More often, what appears as resistance is really a shield for fear: fear of being wrong, of disappointing others, of not being “good enough.” When children experience repeated setbacks—whether in reading, math, writing, or behavior—it chips away at their confidence.
This is where empathy must lead. Start by acknowledging the struggle without judgment. Phrases like:
“I can see this is really hard for you.”
“You’ve been trying so hard, and I’m proud of that effort.”
“It’s okay to feel frustrated. We’ll get through this together.”
These statements validate their emotions and establish a safe foundation for change.
The words we use shape the stories children tell themselves. Negative feedback like “Why can’t you focus?” or “This should be easy for you” reinforces a fixed mindset—the belief that intelligence is static and failure is final.
Instead, flip the script with affirming, growth-oriented language:
“You haven’t figured it out yet, but I see your progress.”
“Every mistake helps your brain grow.”
“It’s okay to take your time. Let’s do it step by step.”
This kind of language communicates belief—not just in their potential, but in the process of learning itself.
When children struggle, accomplishments may be small or infrequent. This makes it even more important to highlight effort. Did they try again after a mistake? Did they ask for help? Did they stay in their seat a little longer than yesterday? Celebrate it.
Keep a “Success Jar” or a “Proud Wall” where effort is recognized visually. Use stickers, notes, drawings—whatever speaks to your child. Over time, these small recognitions build a bigger story: I am capable. I can keep going
Children watch how we react to setbacks. When you get lost, spill coffee, or forget something important, take the opportunity to model a healthy response:
“Oops! That didn’t go how I planned, but I’ll figure it out.”
“Even adults make mistakes—we learn from them too.”
This helps children see that struggle is not unique to them and that it's not something to fear. It’s simply part of growing up.
Struggling learners often associate school with stress. By reintroducing joy and play into the process, we can change their emotional association with learning.
Try games, movement, art, and storytelling to reinforce concepts. For example, if reading is tough, act out stories or draw the scenes together. If math causes tears, turn problems into puzzles or songs. Even five minutes of playful learning can soften frustration and increase receptivity.
Before correcting a child’s mistake or redirecting them, seek connection. A child who feels emotionally safe is far more likely to be receptive to feedback. A gentle hand on the shoulder, a warm smile, or eye contact can communicate, “I’m on your side.”
Once connection is established, you can offer redirection with kindness:
“I know you wanted to give up, but I believe in you. Let’s try again together.”
“You seem really stuck. Let’s take a breath and look at it in a new way.”
A struggling child may feel defeated by grade-level expectations. While it's important to aim high, start by setting achievable, short-term goals that reflect the child’s current zone of success.
Use language like:
“Let’s focus on finishing this one part first. That’s a win.”
“Today’s goal is to try, even if it’s hard. You’ve already started!”
Success builds confidence. Confidence opens the door to perseverance.
Every child is unique. Some learn best in the morning, others need movement breaks, some respond to visuals while others prefer hands-on activities. Positivity includes honoring who they are—without trying to force them into a mold.
Invite them into the process: “What helps you when this feels hard?” or “Let’s figure out together how this can work better for you.”
Changing a child’s mindset isn’t about magical thinking or empty cheerleading. It’s about consistently showing up with warmth, belief, and a refusal to let failure define them.
Positivity isn’t the absence of struggle—it’s the presence of hope in the face of it.
So to every caregiver, teacher, and champion of a struggling child: your belief in them is more powerful than any lesson plan or textbook. With patience, encouragement, and heart, you can help rewrite their inner narrative—from “I can’t” to “I’m learning.”
And that, truly, is a beautiful beginning.
~Jeana Lavallee - Wearer of many hats, Kin caregiver, Autism mom, Edie’s Gigi
