Kinship Care and Mental Health Supporting You and Your Child (Without Losing Your Mind)

Let’s be honest—kinship care isn’t for the faint of heart. You might’ve thought you were done raising kids, or maybe you didn’t expect to be chasing toddlers or negotiating screen time like a seasoned diplomat. And yet, here you are—stepping up, showing love, and probably wondering when you last had a minute to yourself that didn’t involve hiding in the bathroom.

But here’s the thing: while you’re busy being a superhero (cape or no cape), mental health—yours and the child’s—needs to stay on the radar. Because as much as snacks and clean socks matter, peace of mind and emotional stability are what keep this ship sailing.

Kids in Kinship Care: Little People, Big Feelings

Kids don’t come with manuals, but if they did, some sections would definitely be titled: “Why Am I So Angry?”, “Where’s My Parent?”, and “Is This My Forever Home?” Children in kinship care, whether it’s with grandma, Aunt Sally, or cousin Joe, often carry emotional luggage heavier than your old hiking pack. They might have gone through:

● Parental addiction or incarceration.

● The loss of a parent due to death or separation.

● Abuse, neglect, or just plain instability.

Their emotions? A mixed bag of grief, confusion, guilt, and “Why are you making me eat vegetables?”

What You Can Do (Besides Googling ‘Help!’):

1. Keep It Real (and Routine): Kids feel safer when they know what’s next—even if that’s just bath time, story time, and “no, you can’t stay up until midnight.”

2. Talk, Even About the Hard Stuff: It’s okay to say, “I don’t have all the answers, but I’m here for you.”

3. Therapists Are Like Mechanics—for the Mind: If the wheels are wobbling, call in a pro. Vermont has great services (we’ll get to that in a minute).

4. Team Up with Schools: Teachers are allies, not enemies. Loop them in so they can support your child’s emotional needs.

Kin Caregivers: Tired, Tested, and Totally Worth It

Now let’s talk about YOU. Yes, you, the one holding everything together with coffee and duct tape.

Kinship care is tough. You’re juggling doctor’s appointments, grocery lists, and possibly a full-time job or your own health concerns. If you’re feeling:

● More exhausted than a Vermont snowplow in January.

● Snappier than a snapping turtle.

● Like hiding under the bed (but it’s already full of toys)...

It’s time for some you-care (that’s self-care, but more fun).

Vermont-Style Self-Care Tips:

1. Call in the Troops: Vermont Kin As Parents (VKAP) is here to help—no superhero cape required. Call us at (802) 871-5104 or email info@vermontkinasparents.org.

2. Join a Support Group: Laugh, cry, and share stories with folks who get it. VKAP offers monthly meetups—sometimes with snacks!

3. Take a Walk (or a Snowshoe): Nature heals. Vermont’s trails don’t judge if you talk to yourself.

4. Talk to a Pro: Counseling isn’t just for “other people.” Try local options like Howard Center (802-488-6000) or Northeast Kingdom Human Services (802-334-6744).

VKAP also has a whomping list!

Vermont Resources to Keep You Sane (and Supported)

● Vermont Kin As Parents (VKAP): Support, advocacy, and a friendly ear. Visit www.vermontkinasparents.org.

● Kinship Navigator Program: Connects you to services like legal help and financial aid. Info at (800) 565-2023.

● VT Department for Children and Families (DCF): For benefits like Reach Up, childcare assistance, and more.

(802) 241-0928.

● 2-1-1 Vermont: One call connects you to everything from housing help to food shelves. Just dial 211 (really, that’s it).

Wrapping It Up (With a Laugh and a Hug)

Kinship care is messy, beautiful, frustrating, and rewarding—kind of like Vermont weather. One minute it’s sunny, the next you’re in a snowstorm. But through it all, you’re doing an amazing job.

Just remember: you don’t have to be perfect, just present. Take care of yourself, ask for help (yes, YOU), and know that with a little humor and a lot of heart, you and your child can weather any storm.

You’ve got this. And if you don’t? VKAP does. Let’s tackle it together—with grit, grace, and maybe a maple creemee or two.